Games solved this. Every match ends with two letters, typed by winner and loser alike, and the letters mean one thing: this is over, and we both know it. The dating version is two lines. This post is the two lines, written out for every stage things might have reached, so you can copy one, change a name, and send it in the time it takes to close the app.
The rule is GG, not GG EZ. Say it’s over. Don’t rub it in. Don’t turn it into an essay. Don’t leave the door cracked. One game famously started auto-replacing “gg ez” in chat with lines about the sender’s own insecurities, and that’s roughly what a long, over-explained rejection does to you too: it’s for the sender.
The three-part message
Every script below has the same skeleton.
- The thing. One sentence that says it’s not going forward. Not “I’ve been busy.” Not “let’s see how things go.” The actual thing.
- A reason, or no reason. “I’m not feeling the connection I’m looking for” is a complete reason. So is nothing. What you skip is the itemized list of what’s wrong with them; that’s not honesty, it’s a scoreboard.
- The close. A warm, final sentence. “Wishing you the best out there” is the dating gg. It signals you’re not angry and you’re not coming back.
Two lines can hold all three parts. Three lines is the ceiling. If you’re on line six, you’ve started writing for yourself, and you should delete back to three.
Scripts by stage
After a few messages, before you’ve met
This is the stage where ghosting feels most defensible and is most common. It’s also the stage where the message is easiest, because nothing has really happened yet.
- “Hey, I’ve enjoyed chatting, but I don’t think we’re the match I’m looking for. Wishing you the best out there.”
- “Going to be honest: I’m not feeling the spark on my end, and I’d rather say so than go quiet. Good luck out there, truly.”
- “I’ve realized I’m not in the right place to keep this going, and you deserve better than a slow fade. Take care.”
Then unmatch or archive. The message is the close; the unmatch is the door.
After a first date
They gave you an evening. That earns a sentence with slightly more weight, and it earns it within a day or two, not after a week of you hoping they’ll do it first.
- “Thanks again for last night. I had a nice time, but I didn’t feel the connection I’m looking for, and I’d rather tell you than leave you guessing. Wishing you the best.”
- “I’ve been thinking it over and I don’t think we’re a romantic match. I enjoyed meeting you, and I hope you find exactly what you’re after.”
- “Being straight with you because I’d want the same: I’m not feeling it as more than friendly. No hard feelings at all, and good luck out there.”
Notice that none of these say “we should be friends.” Unless you mean it, and you rarely do, it’s a breadcrumb. Say gg and leave the lobby.
After a few dates, when it was getting real
Now the two-line rule bends to three or four, and a call beats a text if you can manage it. The skeleton doesn’t change.
- “I’ve really valued the time we’ve spent, and that’s why I want to be direct: I don’t see this becoming what I’m looking for, and I don’t want to keep going when I know that. I’m sorry, and I mean it when I say I hope you find someone who’s all in.”
- “I owe you honesty, not a fade. I’ve realized I’m not feeling this the way I’d need to in order to keep dating you. You’ve been great to me and this isn’t about anything you did. Take care of yourself.”
If they ask why, one honest sentence is fine. A list is not. You can be kind and still decline to itemize.
When they did something that made you uncomfortable
You don’t owe a reason. You also don’t owe warmth. Short and closed.
- “I’m not comfortable continuing this. I won’t be replying further. Take care.”
- “I’m going to end things here. Please don’t contact me again.”
When it’s a safety issue
Block first. Report if the platform allows it. Send nothing if sending something means they can reply. Everything in this post is about ordinary conversations with ordinary people, and someone who’s already ignored one no, or made you feel unsafe, isn’t owed a second one. Going silent on that person isn’t ghosting. It’s a locked door, and it’s the right call.
What not to send
- The essay. Four paragraphs about your journey and your headspace. It’s for you. Write it, then don’t send it.
- “It’s not you, it’s me.” Everyone knows what it means and nobody believes it. “I’m not feeling the connection I’m looking for” says the same thing without the wince.
- The fake busy. “Work’s been crazy, I’ll reach out when things calm down” is a ghost with a scheduled departure time. They’ll wait. You’ll never send the follow-up. Now you’ve ghosted them twice.
- The breadcrumb. A “haha yeah” every eleven days keeps them checking their phone for a person who’s already gone. If you’re done, be done.
- The orbit. Don’t say nothing and then like their story. Watching from spectator mode after you’ve left the party is the one move worse than just leaving.
If they reply badly
Sometimes the person you were kind to is not kind back. You already said gg; you don’t have to play a rematch. One reply, maximum, and only if it’s needed for clarity (“I understand you’re upset. My answer’s the same. Take care.”). After that, no reply is the correct reply, and blocking is fine. Their reaction to a two-line no is information about them, not a bill you have to pay.
If you’re the one who got ghosted
This post is mostly about not being the ghost, but the four-move response for the other side fits here.
- One follow-up, closed-ended. “Hey, haven’t heard from you. If you’re not feeling it, no worries, just let me know.” That’s it. That’s the whole allowance.
- Read the silence as the answer. Not the answer you wanted, but an answer. The most common reason people go quiet is that they lost interest and didn’t want to say so, and that has nothing to do with your worth as a person.
- Close the loop yourself. Mute, unmatch, archive. You don’t need them to end it for it to be ended.
- Don’t let it set the terms for the next one. Getting ghosted makes people want to ghost pre-emptively, to leave before they’re left. Say gg anyway. It’s the only exit that stays clean for you.
And if a stranger’s silence is hitting you in a place that feels bigger than the situation, that’s worth a conversation with a health care provider, not with the next match. A partner isn’t a treatment, and a good one wouldn’t want to be.
The LFGdating version
We can’t promise you’ll never be ghosted. We can promise you’ll never be ghosted by us. On the LFGdating app and the site, a human replies to any member’s question within 24 hours, from the founders’ own inboxes, and every profile you see was reviewed by a person before it went live. Signing up is free. If you want the research behind why the two-line version hurts less than silence, Wednesday’s head-to-head has the numbers. Otherwise, you have the scripts. Copy one. Send it. gg.