Breaking the Ice: use kind words, not a fire spell

Breaking the ice is a gamebreaking move. Let’s be honest. Do it wrong, and you come across as a fool. But pulling off the ice breaker shows one thing above all else: practice.

Practice. Because we’ve all been the instigator of the awkward introduction. It’s just hopefully we’ve learned from our losses and have adapted to, at the least, a baseline status quo.

If you’re experiencing trouble writing that first message (there’s a reason you won’t spot a “flirt,” “wink” or “kiss” on LFG Dating), then let us help you. Not because we have P.H. D.’s in social psychology, but because we’ve dated long enough, and when starting an entrepreneurial enterprise, we’ve forged many a good relationship through PR.

Eventually I see this post becoming a quality list of do’s and don’t’s, but for now, please accept these two key points when scripting that first message:

1. Be brief. Long-winded first messages are like annoying people who trap you in the office, home, or IHOP at 3am. But online, your reader can simply discard and dismiss forever. Say a few things about yourself if you like, but only if you’re going to ask some questions in return.

2. Ask questions and make comments that matter. Leading with your favorite band is great for breaking the ice at freshmen orientation in college, but at this stage, relate what you spend your time on, ask if the other person has had a good week so far, or simply comment them gentlemanly or ladylike on a positive aspect of their profile.

Good luck, and happy ice breaking!


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