How To Message That New Someone

Deciding what to say to someone new is both an art and a science. What your message says reflects your style – you, in one word. But it’s also an art because we’ve spoken enough to new people in our lives to know how to elicit a response. Fear kicks in at this point though because you want to hear back and not have your message lost in the shuffle. Here is where the science kicks in. Follow these three short and sweet steps to help you write a better first message.

1. Keep it short

Just like you would in person. Write  a couple lines that are descriptive and concise. What you write (and don’t write) allows the reader a glimpse into who you are. This person wants to read your message and get back to you without having to feel tied down when doing so. Remember, this message is a first step, so no need to divulge anything more than hello. If you feel that’s not enough, think about the last time someone said hello and your heart leaped out of your chest. You probably weren’t even really listening to their words at this point, you were too busy having a moment!

2. Keep it sweet

There is no better way to be sweeter than to offer a modest compliment. No need to ramble on, but one line such as “I like that picture of you and your friends at the restaurant. You all look like you were having a genuinely good time – you all look so happy!” Not only did you compliment her, you complimented her friends as well. Double bonus.

3. End with a question

And a simple one at that. Most of us just like to be asked how our day was, or if we did anything fun over the weekend. These are innocuous questions allow the other person to talk about themselves without being too in depth. Don’t worry about being coy – you’re letting the other person know that you are interested in them, so even a small question opens the door in a positive light.

You’ve put in the hard work of creating a profile and looking at your matches. Now, go message that person whose profile you lingered on for a few extra seconds while your eyes grew bigger. Good luck!



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