- Written by Casey Tebo
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Quick Advice: When and When Not to Wait
When it comes to online dating, waiting seems to be orthodox procedure. You create a profile, you search your matches and then you wait. You wait to see if anyone contacts you. You wait to see if your message is returned. You wait to see if any new matches catch your eye. You wait, and wait…and wait. Then you wait some more.
Depending on what you’re waiting on, you could either be in great shape, or you could be left behind. So when should you wait? You should wait when it benefits you, and only when it benefits you.
When You Should Wait
1. You should wait after you send a message. Did you know that some people only check their profiles once a week? Did you know that some people only check their profiles every couple weeks? Here’s where rushing to judgment gets you in trouble. If you message someone, and they don’t reply in the time period you expect them to, you may think they’re not interested. Or worse, they reply two weeks later, and you think you were second or tenth fiddle. Wait for a reply, and if you don’t see one right away, it’s ok.
2. You should wait for a reasonable time if there is a break from a messaging. Say you are messaging back and forth for a couple days, and then radio silence kicks in. Don’t expect the worst. And if you feel like the other person truly did leave you hanging, then if you are a wordsmith, wish them well. If the final message comes out with even a smidgen of resentment or ill will, don’t send. Give them a reasonable chance to get back to you.
3. You should wait after you subscribe. Do: let your profile and potential relationships develop. Also, new people create profiles every day. Don’t: see your first matches and jump ship. You’re undercutting your own work!
When You Should Not Wait
1. You should not waste a second replying to a message from someone you want to talk with. Let’s realize the 500 lb. gorilla in the room: someone could be snatched up in a minute. Probably not, but waiting is the exact opposite of what you want. Remember Eurotrip? “Knowing what we know now, that’s the exact opposite of what we want.” Don’t just write something to write something; be thoughtful with your response.
2. Don’t wait for the person you are eyeing to message you. Go ahead and contact them. If you’ve paid for a subscription at LFGdating, you have unlimited messaging, so you don’t have to count tokens or credits or whatever other sites are calling it. Reach out – immediately.
3. Don’t wait a second if you’ve got something starting with someone. If you’ve been talking with a member and you are forming a relationship, don’t wait. You are your own free agent, but you’re at LFGdating because you want to find someone. If you’ve found someone, don’t wait a second!
Wait, don’t wait, it’s all up to you. Just follow these guidelines and you should be in good shape.